Long-term relationships require a certain finesse when it comes to sex. Very few species in the animal kingdom are monogamous, but it seems to be something we humans with our human minds want to achieve: happiness with a monogamous partner. Frankly, it’s not easy to get there, but if you really love someone and you want an exciting and interesting sex life over time, the two of you are going to have to get creative and put some effort in.

One of the easiest ways for committed couples to rock it in the bedroom (or any other room) is to start watching porn together—and yes, I’m serious.

Studies show that whether you admit it or not, male or female, you’re most likely watching porn. According to a 2014 study in The APA Handbook of Sexuality and Psychology, “Porn consumption rates are at 50 percent to 99 percent among men, and 30 percent to 86 percent among women.” So if you’re already enjoying porn—or even if you’re not—why not do it together?

I’m not discounting the fact that some people, men especially, become addicted to porn. And porn addiction can certainly ruin a relationship. The Kinsey institute found that 9 percent of porn viewers are unable to stop watching, making porn-watching a compulsive behavior. Caveat emptor.

But hey, everything in moderation. I’ve found that watching porn occasionally can be an amazing way to spice up a routine sex life. Because we all know what it’s like when that routine becomes as habitual as: start with oral, go to missionary, and end with doggie, each and every damn time.

Learn Something New

If you think you know everything there is to know about your partner, think again. We all have private ideas and fantasies that come and go, and it’s unlikely your partner has shared every single last one of them with you.

Watching porn together will give you both the chance to learn something new about each other’s sexual preferences. Is this scary? Perhaps, but if you are both willing to try watching something the other person likes, it can work really well.

Maybe your partner is into the idea of anal play but hasn’t had the chutzpah to tell you. When you say, “Hey honey, let’s watch porn tonight,” you might be giving your partner the chance to timidly or boldly introduce a potential new practice into the mix.

Explore Safely

The good thing about porn is that if you’re a little squeamish, you can enjoy new things virtually—just watch them without actually doing them, at least at first. Who’s to say you can’t watch anal and then go do missionary? You’re two consenting adults; you can do whatever the heck you want.

You might be open to watching some intense S&M scenarios, but in real life are you ready to be bound and gagged? Maybe not, and that’s okay. Your opportunities via porn are endless even if in reality, you’re more limited. This means if your partner’s got a foot fetish and you would rather die and than have someone lick your toes, you can give them enjoyment vis-à-vis porn instead.

Empower Yourself as a Woman

When a woman decides to take charge of her sex life by enjoying porn on her own terms, it’s incredibly empowering. We live in a world in which women are labeled as sluts or prudes, over-sexualized in our younger years, and desexualized the minute we become mothers or age.

When the female partner (or both female partners) in a long-term relationship gets to take the lead and show what she finds erotic, it’s a win-win.

If you’re a straight guy, don’t be surprised if your woman’s taste in porn leans toward other ladies: According to 2014 statistics gathered by PornHub and Buzzfeed, women are four times more likely than men to search for “girl on girl” porn and “lesbian” is by far the top category of porn watched by women. But hey, you can handle a little girl on girl action, for the sake of your relationship, right?

Whether you’re an avid PornHub user or are afraid to peek at anything smutty thanks to years of religious training, testing out porn as a couple can be a great way to spark up a monogamous relationship that’s bordering on the mundane. Remember, fear is just another word for excitement.

Laura Lifshitz is a comedienne, writer, and ex-MTV personality whose work has been seen in the New York Times, PopSugar and more.

Suggested Reading:

Your Brain on Sex: How Smarter Sex Can Change Your Life

The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures

Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships